Triggered by Religion

I know today’s a big day that means alot to many people. For most of my life, it was one of the most important holidays. Growing up fundamental Christian, my family wouldn’t hide candy in the eggs around the yard, they would put articles that related to Good Friday and the Resurrection (ie, 3 dimes for thirty pieces of silver, a nail, piece of cloth). Then after all the articles were found, the story was able to be reinforced in our minds. I haven’t set foot in a church in probably 4 years. I left my family’s house when I was 21, and I went to a couple of church services in the next two years, but I never felt comfortable or that I belonged. It used to be my history, my identity, how I viewed myself and the lens that I viewed the world. Not anymore. I was going to drop of a boy for his baptism, I walked into the chapel – not even a church, and it was on a college campus, no less. But I couldn’t do it. I got a creepy, oppressed feeling. The back of my neck was crawling, and I felt literally sick. Couldn’t do it. No way. It was a strange feeling. My life has moved on, religion is no longer a part of my life. I’m happy with my life, and the way it’s going. But I don’t think organized religion or even any religion will ever be a part of it. I had to tell the boy’s family that there was no way I could sit through it, that I felt way too triggered, and it just wasn’t for me. They were very sympathetic. No offense meant, I have no issues with those that love that, find a sense of wholeness, or think that that is the only way to live their life – kudos to you. Go for it. But I realized today, that I have some major issues with it, and it does not make me feel comfortable. 

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